I knew something was different. I always know when you’re near me. No matter where we are. But on this particular day, I had not a clue that you were walking right past me. I looked up, and there you were, about to pass right by me.
Did you see me? I don’t know. But I was so “shook” by this happening that later, I had to call my best friend. I told her what happened. I don’t think she fully understood how deeply this occurrence affected me. Why didn’t I know (or sense your presence) was near me as I have in the past?
I began to wonder if it meant that I should officially accept the fact that what I desired in a relationship for US was not going to happen. But why? I still believe, but do you believe? I know that the fact that we haven’t been able to come together would be a good reason for some to give up hope. It just seems like the option to continue to believe was taken away from me the other day.
It was right there in my face saying, “it’s not gonna happen!” I just needed time to process what had happened. Then, I told God what happened (as if He didn’t already know). Then I called my best friend. I felt better after those talks, but I still couldn’t wrap my mind around no longer having to believe God to bring US together.
At the same event where I saw you, I ran into the boy (now a man), that I talked about in the post: In the Beginning – Repost. I purposely turned my head when I saw him walking my way. However, on his way back out, he purposely slowed down and came to me and spoke. Nothing!
Am I over you the same way that I am over him?
My Journey, My Story 