Today I saw you on a video wedding event at our church. You were there with… her. I think it’s the same her from your Facebook page from when I got scared and sent you a friend request that you never responded to. I was watching the replay of the church event on my phone at home right after I’d awaken from a nap in which I’d had a terrible dream.
In the dream, a truck was driving on the wrong side of the road coming right towards me. I slowed down so that they could realize their mistake and get back on their side. When they got back in their lane, I looked up in my rear view mirror and a SUV was coming so fast it was about to hit my car from behind. I immediately woke myself up and prayed. Even before I got out of the bed, I picked up my phone and there was a notification that my church had posted something. It was a video from the wedding event. Don’t know why I decided to watch because clearly I’m not close to getting married. But I did watch. And I did see you and her.
I’m OK. I am at a place in my life where I want what I want; with or without you in it. Just seems like today was trying to hit me coming and going because today happens to be the birthday of him; the same him I was too caught up in all those years ago when you first approached me. Maybe that’s what my dream was all about? I made a conscious decision last year to cut off ALL contact with him and I’ve kept that promise. I had hoped that you too were in a place where we could finally be together; seems like we are not.
I’m OK. I’m getting out of debt. I’m hosting a podcast. I’m creating content for my blog. I’m preparing myself in order to purchase a new home. I’m on social media platforms… yeah, I’m out here and I’m Enjoying This Journey. I do believe that This Journey To Us is still worth it; and I believe that I’m OK.
My Journey, My Story 