If you’ve read any of my earlier blog posts, you know that I desire to be married and have kids. Now that I’m older and neither of those things have happened, it became my desire to encourage and inspire others as I travel on my journey especially if they are on a journey similar to mine. I’m finding that more and more older women are unmarried and have no children: but they too desire both. Just recently a friend told me that for her fortieth birthday she wanted a husband. Been there and said that at forty and forty-five. Now I’m forty-seven and still no husband or children.
Dare I say it? But the men my age and older have been marrying much younger women; or they don’t want children. I had to ask myself if I wanted to enter a relationship with a man who stated that he didn’t want any or anymore children. On one hand the answer would be “yes” because at my age, people look at you funny when you say you want kids. But then on the other hand the answer would be “no” because I didn’t want a man in my life who limited me right off the bat from attaining all I desired out of life. There are plenty of couples who for one reason or another don’t have children but people still expect that one day they will. So to say that my time has past because of my age is a false belief I can’t allow to take root in my heart.
Also from my earlier blog posts, you can glean what I’ve learned from my past relationships. The fact that once I renewed my mind with God’s word, I started on a journey that has allowed to me to be transparent and publicly display my innermost desire to become a wife and mother. How that will happen has been written and rewritten in my journals, my mind and my heart so many times over the years. It is so ingrained in me now to the point that to not experience either is unacceptable.
This is not mentioned in any of my blog posts but I wanted – no need to mention it now. Only a few, maybe not even a handful of my friends know. And only my first love – yeah, the one from the blog, he knows that getting older has Not stopped me from wanting children. Even at my age now, when I tell people that I want kids, they look at me as if I’ve lost my mind. But the hurt happened when I told the man that I loved that I wanted to have children and his response was “there is no way that can happen!” After that, I tended to keep quiet about it from that point on. Now I have all these hopes and dreams on the inside of me that I can’t share because there’s no one like me who believes. That’s where YOU come in. Maybe, just maybe someone reading these words can feel what I’m feeling, been where I’ve been and is willing to be an Encouragement to me as I do my best to be an Encouragement to you. Then we all can Enjoy the Journey together.
The END
My Journey, My Story 