When He says No

“I don’t think you’re ready for marriage” Tracy said to Ella as they sat on the bench outside the building where they worked on their afternoon break. The statement took Ella by surprise and it took her a minute to formulate a response. “Why is that?” Ella finally responded. “Because you aren’t ready to give up your needs to meet the needs of someone else” Tracy replied. “Now I know you’re talking crazy because I’m always concerned about other people’s needs” Ella demanded. Aren’t I the one who’s always giving to others? It’s myself that I don’t give as much to as I should because I want others to be happy” Ella went on the explain. “Why don’t we just leave this conversation to another time Ella?” Tracy stated. “No!” said Ella, “why stop now?” “Because you’re not ready to hear what I have to say. Just pray about it and we’ll talk later” suggested Tracy.

That night at home, Ella prayed and told God how wrong Tracy was to even suggest that she was not ready for marriage. Why, the nerve of her to even suggest that Ella didn’t put others needs before her own. That’s the craziest thing she’d ever heard. “Go ahead God, tell me to let her know tomorrow at work just how wrong she truly is. I’ll be gentler talking to her than she was talking to me today. How dare she say ‘I’m not ready for marriage’. You just say so and I’ll let her know that she doesn’t know me like You do and I’ve already told You how ready for marriage I truly am”. After praying in the Spirit so she could assure Tracy that she’d heard from God clearly, Ella heard God say “you’re not ready for marriage”. What?! By this point in her life, Ella had been walking with the Lord for four years and she’d endured His correction in her life before; so at this point all she could was cry.

How could I not be ready for marriage? It’s been four years since I’ve been with a man and Lord knows it’s been a struggle; especially in the beginning. Sure, I was fed up with giving my body to men who never gave me their hearts. But once I learned God’s perspective on sex before marriage, it allowed me to stand my ground when men wanted to have sex with me without a commitment. I just knew I’d suffered enough and God was ready to bless me with a man I could share not only my bed with but my life. And now even He is agreeing with Tracy that that’s not gonna happen for me. What am I gonna do now?

The next day at work, Ella couldn’t face Tracy and tell her what God said. She’d just rub it in her face. “I’ll just let her think I’m still mad at her and not talk to her at all”. Ella didn’t meet Tracy at the bench for their afternoon break so she was surprised when Tracy came by her desk right before quitting time. “I know you’re upset with me about yesterday and I just want to say that I’m sorry. If you feel that you are ready for marriage, it’s not my place to say otherwise. I just wanted to be able to speak truthfully to you about some things I’ve noticed but I’d rather not lose our friendship over something that I may be wrong about” Tracy stated. Too full of pride and seeing an easy way out Ella said “I forgive you and we won’t talk about this again”. And they never did.